Who Does What & When - Dorset Wedding Directory

Navigation

Who Does What & When

THE BEST MAN

Before the wedding the best man should:

Make sure he keeps himself up to date with all the arrangements, liaising regularly with the groom and the bride’s family
Check the hiring, cleaning or collecting of suits for himself and the groom
Check the ordering of the flowers for the bride and her attendants, sprays for the two mothers and buttonholes for himself, the groom and other immediate members of both families
Check the printing and collection of order of service sheets and make sure that the ushers know what their duties are
Check arrangements for the first night and honeymoon are in place and that necessary passports and visas are in order
Organise the groom’s stag night – preferably some days in advance of the wedding – and make sure the groom gets home safely afterwards
Check the rings have been collected
Check the transport for the bridal party both to the ceremony and from there to the reception
Organise accommodation for the groom and himself the night before the wedding
The best man might also be asked to help with accommodation for guests and to liase with live musicians or disco both before and during the reception

On the day the Best man should:

Take the groom’s going away clothes to the reception venue
Check the service sheets are delivered to the church for the ushers to hand out to guests as they arrive
Make sure the groom arrives for the ceremony in good time
Pay all the church fees on the grooms behalf before the ceremony
Hold the ring(s) until the appropriate moment in the ceremony when they should be handed to the groom or the minister
Sign the register as a witness to the marriage
Get the bridal party together for photographs
Make sure the ushers arrange lifts to the reception for any guests who need them
Escort the bride and groom to the bridal car and then escort the bridesmaids to the reception
Liaise with the toastmaster or, if there isn’t one, assume those duties himself – these include announcing the speeches and the cutting of the cake
Reply to the groom’s toast the the bridesmaids with a brief, polite and – if possible – funny speech before reading out the cards and messages
Announce the newlyweds’ departure from the reception and ensure they have all their tickets and luggage
Arrange for any wedding presents taken to the reception to be taken home
Take the groom’s wedding clothes from the reception and, if necessary, return hired suits

The speech

Resist the temptation to tell any juicy stories whatsoever from the couple’s past. The escapades may have been hilarious, but now is not the time for embarrassing reminders of past romances or past quarrels between the happy pair. The three essential parts of the speech are to thank the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words about them, to read the cards and messages that have arrived and to announce the cutting of the cake.

THE CHIEF BRIDESMAID

Arranges the hen night and makes sure the bride gets home safely
Arranges for the bride’s going away outfit and honeymoon luggage to be taken to the reception venue
Helps the bride to dress for the ceremony
Makes sure the flowers and bouquets have arrived on schedule
Supervises the other bridesmaids and attendants and assembles them at the church ready for the arrival of the bride
Arranges the bride’s dress and veil before the procession down the aisle
Takes the bride’s bouquet at the start of the wedding service and carries it to the vestry ready to give back to the bride after the signing of the register
Keeps an eye on young attendants during the reception
Helps the bride change from her wedding dress into her going away outfit
Arranges for the wedding dress to be returned home

THE USHERS

Hand out the order of service sheets to guests as they arrive and show them to their seats – friends and family of the bride on the left of the aisle, friends and family of the groom on the right.
They should make sure one of them pays special attention to the groom’s parents and the bride’s mother as they arrive and escorts them to their places.
They should also help the best man organise lifts to the reception for guests who may need them

ARRIVAL AT THE CHURCH

The ushers should arrive about 40 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin.
The groom and best man should arrive about 15 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin.
The bridesmaids and attendants should arrive about five minutes before the ceremony is due to begin.
The bride’s mother should be the last to arrive before the bride – when she is shown to her seat that is a signal to the congregation that the wedding is about to start.
The bride and her father will be met on their arrival at the church by the vicar or priest, who will precede them down the aisle.
As the congregation rises, the groom and best man take their places at the chancel steps.

ARRIVAL AT THE REGISTER OFFICE

Guests are expected to arrive at the register office 15 minutes before the ceremony, when they will be shown to a waiting room.
The bridal party should arrive about 10 minutes before the ceremony is due to start and bride and groom will be invited into the register office first. There the registrar will explain the ceremony and the groom will pay the fees.
In a short ceremony, the couple call on the people present to witness their vows to each other, they may exchange rings – though this is not a legal requirement – and then they signs the register.
They will need two witnesses, who also sign the register followed by the registrar.
You may have music and readings at your civil wedding, but they must be non-religious. It’s normally more convenient to have your music recorded and it can be played before the ceremony and for the entrance of the bride, then during the signing of the register and as you leave the register office.
Readings must be given by a member of your wedding party.
Remember that the registrar’s part in the ceremony is confined purely to the legal requirements, so any additional vows you wish to make to each other must be spoken by yourselves alone.
Whatever you do, you must agree the whole content of the ceremony with the officiating registrar before the wedding.
The same applies for civil weddings at an approved venue though, because there is likely to be more space, it may be possible to have live music.

AT THE RECEPTION

The formal receiving line at the reception should take the following order:

Bride’s parents
Groom’s parents
Bride and Groom
Chief Bridesmaid
Best Man

After the meal, the best man (or toastmaster, if you have one) introduces the speeches in the following order:

The bride’s father (or an old family friend) always speaks first, welcoming the guests to the reception and his new son-in-law to the family. He will complement the bride and often thanks her mother for their many happy years together. He ends by proposing the toast to the bride and groom
The groom replies to his father-in-law’s toast, thanking him and the bride’s mother for their daughter, for their welcome into the family and for the reception. He thanks the guests for coming to celebrate the day and for the presents they have given. He thanks his best man and the bride’s attendants for the help they have given to the bride. He then proposes a toast to the bridesmaids
It is not uncommon for the bride to say a few words and if she chooses to do so, she should speak after her new husband. This is a good opportunity for her to thank all the people who have helped her plan the big day, to thank her own parents for all their support and to thank the groom’s parents for welcoming her into their family
Last of the speeches is always the best man, who replies to the groom’s toast to the bridesmaids, wishes the happy couple well, reads the cards and messages and announces the cutting of the cake.

THE EVENING RECEPTION

Most weddings now include an evening dance or disco. Before it begins, the best man should make sure the bride and groom are ready to take the floor for the first dance, followed by the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, the best man and chief bridesmaid.

PRINTABLE VIEW

TELL A FRIEND

ADD TO FAVORITES